Lonliness. Self-inflicted or created, or thrown upon you?

Community. The chance to truly jump into the mess of life. The chance to feel truly loved and accepted.

Am I willing to take the chance?

Alone. No mess. Control, order, predictability. No unmet expectations.

Community. The chance to show someone how valuable they are. How treasured they are. How important their life is in the big picture.

Hebrews 10:25...Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Gone - in the blink of an eye. Do I realize what I'm taking for granted? Do I know the treasure that I hold before me? Do I properly respect it? Do I show it the love that it's due? Do I fully realize the fragility? Do I know how much I will really miss it when it's gone?
I do find myself wishing away certain days. Some minutes I wish would pass quicker. Move on to an easier minute. To one without this conflict. But without the conflict, without the hardship....where does that leave me? Do I become the person I want to be? The lazy me wants to just fast-forward. But another side of me waits. It's a smaller part at the present time. I'm hoping it grows, matures and takes over the lazy part...

Happy 3rd birthday to my darling daughter Emelia! Hard to believe how time flies. Just thinking back to when she came. March was a good month for a baby. Just a bit before things warm up. Nice to be pregnant in winter and then soon you can be out with baby and not cooped up inside. She came easily, my most easy birth of all three. Starting contracting aroun 10am and she came by 8pm. Didn't really even start to hurt until about 6pm. She was round and roly. She was super alert and not much has changed :) She stayed up ALL night to nurse. She was my easiest baby as well. She seemed happy and content most of the time. Didn't like the car much, but none of my kids did. I would bring her outside in her carseat to sit in the backyard with Amos and I. Give her a toy and she would be happy. Maybe this contentment is why it took her 7 months to sit up, 9ish months to crawl and about 14 months before she walked. She was unsteady on her feet for a long while, and still is not too graceful :)
She makes me smile :) She is kind-hearted and doesn't like conflict. She is a peacemaker and loves to share. I'm in love with her sweet spirit and in no hurry for her to grow up. I want her to be naive and innocent for a little while longer before she finds out what Barbies are and what it means to 'act' grown up.
I think often about how to teach my girls what is important about being a woman. What things matter and what things don't. Don't want to sound cliche...but to know that it's what on the inside...
In short, I want them to have the self-esteem that I don't have. I want them to know that they are unconditionally loved. That they are perfect just the way they are. That they should first love others which will cause them to love themselves as well. I want them to walk into a room full of people and believe that everyone does or could like them instead of assume that everyone doesn't. I want them to have confidence and speak their minds. I want them to be humble and intuitive.
Day by day Father God...give me grace and wisdom.