There will always be a mess. No matter how clean the house gets, there will always be something else to do. I recently had an epiphany. In my head I've always thought that if I just worked hard enough, the house and my life would come into order and then everything would be okay. Life would somehow be suspended in this clean and tidy state. But that's just not true! No brainer to some, I know.
When I first got married is when my home should've been the cleanest right? It was probably the worst then, and I didn't even have the excuse I have now. Now, no matter how much I try, the mess follows me about the house in the forms of sticky fingers, toys strewn around the toy box. Creativity abounds in pieces of paper cut and dropped on the floor. I am always late. I try so hard and something beyond my control always seems to prevent me from going out the door at the time I wish I could. From the moment I wake up some days, I feel like I am pedaling backwards, catching every red light.
I'm slowly starting to realize that there is probably a purpose in this. What do they say...when you are squeezed, what's inside of you comes out? Some, or most days at this point, I don't so much like what comes out of me. I need work. No matter what I fix, there will always be something else to work on. God's grace abounds. There are some days now, where I get to the end and think that it wasn't so bad. Sometimes I don't regret anything that happened or anything I said or did with the children. Life is a marathon, not a race. I'm not so patient, but I'm working on that too.